Total Drama Return!
by Lone Trombone
Summary: Season 3 of the hottest show in Canada! Rated T for violence and use of the word "crap". NEXT CHAPTER IN THE WORKS! Please don't ignore me. This is all i have... *tears*
1. ANOTHER SEASON?

**Disclaimer: I do not own TDI or TDA and probably never will. ******** A lot of boredom was produced in the making of this fanfic.**

"Hello, and welcome to Total… Drama… Return! We're coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa, dropping season _THREE_ of the hottest reality show in Canada! All 22 of our original campers are on their way, 8 in the Boat of Losers, and 14 in the Lame-ousine. Let's see how the Boat of Losers is treating Ezekiel, Eva, Noah, Katie, Tyler, Cody, Sadie and Courtney."

(cut to live camera feed on Boat of Losers)

Everyone was enjoying themselves because they knew it was the closest thing to a luxury that they would get for a whole summer.

**Confession Cam- We don't know why it's on the Boat of Losers.**

Cody- "Yeah! Another season, another chance to showcase my awesome skills for the ladies!"

Ezekiel- "I've got another chance to win some money, eh!"

Eva- "I never agreed to this, Chris! I will get my revenge!"

Noah- "Let's just hope this time around, I can use my brains to get further than before."

Katie- "I don't think everybody knows that Sadie and I have stopped copying each other yet."

Sadie- "I'm like so glad Katie and I stopped copying each other! Eeeeee!"

Courtney- "I should have won the first season! It's all Harold's fault, that four-eyed geek!"

Tyler- "Woohoo! I finally found a sport I'm good at! It's…" (confession cam batteries die)

"Now let's check out the Lame-ousine to see how Justin, Izzy, Beth, Harold, Trent, Bridgette, Lindsay, DJ, Geoff, Leshawna, Duncan, Heather, Gwen, and Owen."

(cut to live camera feed of Lame-ousine)

Everyone was enjoying the hot tub, volleyball court, and regulation basketball court. They also knew that it would be their last luxury for a while.

**Confession Cam: Again, no idea.**

Justin- …

Izzy- "This is so awesome! Another season! I don't think I like Owen that much anymore because in season one, he pushed me in front of a psycho killer, and in seson two, he pushed me in front of a giant robot dinosaur."

Beth- "This is awesome! I get to see Cody again! He and Leshawna were the only ones who stood up for me in the paintball deer hunt."

Harold- "Awesome! Another season, another chance to win Leshawna over. I just don't like Duncan. Gosh! Idiot!"

Trent- "It's really cool to come back to the island. I think I'm cool with everyone except Heather. I hate her!"

Bridgette and Geoff- (making out)

Lindsay- "This is great! I can see Eric, Ava, Boa, Justin, Brady, Taylor, Lizzy, Nody, Belle, Lady, Couric, Gerald, Bent, Midget, PJ, Jed, Leshawna, Dustin, Heather, Greta, Omar, and Chip again!"

DJ- "This rocks! Maybe I'll see Bunny again."

Leshawna- "Aw, yeah! I'll win this time 'cause I'm all that and a bag of chips!"

Duncan- "Well, at least it gets me out of juvie for a while."

Heather- "This will be considerably harder, because nobody trusts me this time around."

Gwen- "I came in second the first time. I know this game."

Owen- "Woohoo! Another season!!!"

"And there you have it." Chris continued. "Some are happy, some are sad, and some are ticked off at me to no extent. Our campers should arrive any moment now. Wait'll they see our twist. Hehehe."

Just as he said, the campers arrived all at once. "I don't think we need to introduce everyone again, so let's get to the mess hall!"

"Okay everyone, I have a surprise! It's…"

**HAHAHAHA! I love cliffhangers. I've got a contest going. First one to review me every name Lindsay screwed up in order with a link to one of your stories gets the surprise that will not be revealed to anyone until the next chapter of TDR, or Total…Drama…Return! The link is crucial because I will review that story telling you that you won, and the surprise of TDR!**


	2. The Surprise

**Sorry it took so long, read the summary for the winner! If you read this chapter without reading the first one, it won't make any sense. Anyway, on with the story!**

"The surprise is…" Chris said. Then, a small, white bunny hopped in.

"Bunny!" DJ exclaimed. A snort could be heard from outside.

"Is that…" Beth began. "Everyone, meet Big Bertha, Beth's pet pig." Chris said. Then a teen with ripped jeans, a camouflage muscle shirt, black sleeveless gloves, and long stringy hair came in. "Hey, I'm Joe." he said. Everyone wondered why these people were here when a coconut rolled in. "Mr. Coconut!" Owen happily screamed.

"These are now four of your friends, your rivals, and maybe even your allies. They are now campers on Total…Drama…Return!" Chris explained. Everyone was shocked. "Well, let's get to our first challenge. Follow me to the amphitheater, everyone."

***

**Confession Cam- Not as devilishly handsome as Justin.**

Gwen- "This is going to stink. All right. Ya know what? Bring it on."

Justin-…

Ezekiel- "I hope I don't get voted off first again, eh."

Noah- "Wow, another mentally straining challenge. How exciting."

***

"Here is your first challenge," Chris said, gesturing to a table with twenty-six buzzers and a wide-screen television. "You will each be stationed at a buzzer, and I will ask you a series of questions about every camper. You are not allowed to answer a question about yourself, and every time you get a question wrong, you will get one strike and be shocked on an increasingly painful level. Five strikes and you're out of the game. Bunny and Joe, you're on the Killer Bass. Big Bertha and Mr. Coconut are Screaming Gophers. Other than that, same teams. Last one standing wins invincibility for their team. Let's go!" Chris said. Everyone went to a buzzer and prepared for the first question.

"Who has an IQ of 175?" Heather quickly buzzed in and said, "Noah."

"Wrong!" Heather was shocked painfully, and everyone felt happy and nervous at the same time. Sadie buzzed in. "Katie!"

"Correct!"

"You have an IQ of 175?" Noah asked.

"Yeah. Can't I be smart?" Katie replied.

***

**Confession Cam- Not as smart as Noah and Katie. ******

Noah- "She's smart, and she's kinda cute… No, wait! You better edit that out!

***

After hours of asking and shocking, it was down to Noah, Katie, and Izzy. "What two campers have a license to kill?"

"Izzy and Ezekiel because he tried to shoot a moose in his audition tape." Noah answered. "Correct!" Chris replied. "Who likes Beth?"

"Justin?" Katie guessed. "Wrong! Katie, you're out!" It was between Noah and Izzy. "Who has broken their leg in three places?" Izzy knew who it was. It was her! But she was crazy and said, "Michael Jackson?"

"Wrong, and Noah wins it for the Gophers!" Every Gopher cheered. "As for the Bass, pick your favorite loser and send them home!

***

**Confession Cam- Not as sad as the Killer Bass.**

Joe- "Who did I vote for? Katie.

Katie- "DJ."

Sadie- "Definitely DJ."

DJ- "Sorry, Katie."

***

"I have twelve marshmallows on this plate, but thirteen campers. Who will go home first? I have marshmallows for Eva, Tyler, Sadie, Courtney, Harold, Bridgette, Geoff, Duncan, and Bunny." The nine campers picked their marshmallows. "Ezekiel."

"Yes! I'm not first again, eh." Ezekiel exclaimed.

"DJ." Chris said. "The final marshmallow of the night goes to…

…

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"Joe."

Katie went to her cabin to pack her bags. "Bye, everyone!" she said as she boarded the Boat of Losers. Everyone returned to their cabins, glad to be safe.

"Everyone," Chris said into a megaphone. "I almost forgot, the prize is $10,000,000 this time around!"

**I'm going to have a contest in every chapter now. This time, if you can name Joe's favorite band, I will tell you the next challenge. This time, no hints for 2****nd**** place, hehehe. Sorry the chapter is so long, I wanted to fit in the first challenge and the first elimination.**


	3. Day 2, Part 1: Is Fear a Factor?

**I've decided to start this chapter without a winner. ****:( I'm gonna start splitting these up challenges into different parts. Anyway, on with the story!**

_Last time on Total Drama Return… our 22, or should I say __26__ campers returned to Camp Wawanakwa to compete for $10,000,000! Mr. Coconut, Bunny, Beth's pet pig named Big Bertha, and Joe came to compete with our originals! Our first challenge was a trivia show about the other campers! Noah confessed his crush on Katie, Katie and Sadie actually aren't joined at the hip anymore, and Noah won it for the Gophers, leaving Katie to walk the dock. Who will win? Who will lose? And who will lose their lunch? All these questions and more will be answered on this episode of Total…Drama…Return!_

It was 5:00 AM in Muskoka, Ontario. Every camper was sleeping peacefully until Chris decided to combine his megaphone and the intercom and yell, "Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey! Time for your challenge, so report to the dock at 0500!" Everyone but Noah stared blankly at the intercom. "Um… that means now, dudes. Maclean out."

Everyone reluctantly went to the dock, awaiting their challenge.



**Confession Cam- *yawn***

Ezekiel- "What do you think the challenge is, eh?"

Harold- "Whatever the challenge is, I can dominate."

Owen- "I don't care about the challenge, I JUST WANT TO EAT!!!"



When everyone was at the dock, Chris still had his bullhorn, and he screamed,

"Okay, I was watching Fear Factor last night, and it gave me the idea to have a classic Fear Factor challenge. This challenge will consist of three rounds;

The first round is the Freestyle Mountain Climb! It is a mountain climb with explosives, no harness, and no rules!

The second round is the Cricket Crunch! Whoever can eat the most crickets wins!

The final round is the Bungee Jumping Rodeo! You will bungee jump off the cliff and onto a bull, where you must stay for eight seconds! Okay, everyone, let's go to the mountain for the first round!"

**Well, that's the first part of my Fear Factor Challenge. My dad really gave me this idea. Hehehe. Review me now saying who you think should be voted off, and maybe I'll oblige. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Sorry this was so slow. I had writer's block. Oh, yeah… this contest thing isn't working out, so no more contests until you, oh, I don't know… BEG FOR MERCY!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ahem. Brady out. **


	4. Day 2, Part : Utter MOOSEcrap :

**I'm on a sugar rush, and I want to write a chapter before I crash. Sorry for taking so long, my laptop battery died. Anyway, the answer to the last contest was the Grateful Dead, but who cares? On with the story!**

The 25 campers followed Chris to the 1,000 foot high cliff for the Freestyle Mountain Climb. "You can choose which camper you would like to participate in each challenge. You will have five minutes to decide. Okay, let's climb!"

Five minutes later, Eva and Justin were at the base of the cliff. Eva had gotten a unanimous vote, and Justin had nine votes out of thirteen, which were Izzy, Beth, Lindsay, Leshawna, Heather, Gwen, Owen, Big Bertha (who always has the same vote as Beth), and Mr. Coconut (who always has the same vote as Owen). The two started their climb, and Eva was almost lost in Justin's bright eyes… _Snap out of it! _Eva thought to herself. Getting desperate, she stabbed her eyes with a stick. Now almost completely blinded, Eva knocked Justin off of the mountain and scaled to the summit. "The Killer Bass win the Freestyle Mountain Climb!" Chris yelled. "Time for the Cricket Crunch!"

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**Confession Cam- Wants to taste some of those crickets (NOT!!!)**

Heather- "I think I know who's doing this for us. We've got an ace up our sleeve." (smiles devilishly)

Ezekiel- "Oh, no, we're gonna lose this, eh. Time for me to say goodbye."

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At the Cricket Crunch, it was Owen for the Screaming Gophers (through a unanimous vote) and Geoff for the Killer Bass (with a slight majority).

"Ready, set…" Chris began. Suddenly, there was a huge burp, and everyone looked at Owen, who had eaten all 100 of his crickets, all 100 of Geoff's crickets, and some cockroaches that were on the floor! "I guess Owen wins the Cricket Crunch! Time for the Bungee Jumping Rodeo!"

"Normally, I would let you choose your competitors, but more fun for me! Izzy vs. Ezekiel! Come on up!" At the top of the cliff, Chris continued, "Izzy, you're first!" Izzy jumped off WITHOUT the harness around her ankle, and grabbed onto the bull, only to be bucked off after 7.9999999999999999… whatever. It wasn't eight. Ezekiel jumped with the harness, and once he grabbed the bull, the harness released him. Ezekiel then took a bow and arrow and killed the bull, and stayed on its dead body for eight seconds. Izzy went crazy after that, and complained, only to hear Chris say, "Sorry, no rule against killing the bull." Izzy just went completely psychotic after that. She went around the entire island, gathering all of Chris's assorted crap for his hair, and his trailer (which she then proceeded to crush with her bare hands), and threw it all into the lake.

"I swear, with God as my witness, I WILL GET REVENGE!!!" Chris yelled.

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**Confession Cam- Scared of getting voted off. *whimper***

Heather- "Leshawna."

Owen- "Leshawna."

Noah- "Leshawna."

Lindsay- "Lakwesha."



"Let's keep this quick," Chris said, obviously still mad at Izzy. "Noah, Justin, Cody, Beth, Trent, Lindsay, Heather, Gwen, Owen."

"The final marshmallow goes to…

…

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"Leshawna. Izzy, you're gone!" Chris exclaimed, feeling much better.

Izzy then went crazy all over again. She ran all over, until she fell into the lake and swam to Playa des Losers. Everyone went to bed, feeling slightly mentally ill.

***

"What happened with the vote? Everyone voted for Leshawna!" Chef asked Chris.

"I was so mad at Izzy, I rigged the votes!" Chris replied, laughing. "Oh, crap! Is that camera rolling? Ah, well." The camera was then turned off.

**Sorry this took so long, I'm working on a story that should be out in a week. I also hate my laptop charger. Comment any ideas for challenges, and I may use them! Bye!!! 0_o**


	5. Day 3: Do we get to eat it?

**HOLY CRAP!!! I HAD WRITER'S BLOCK AGAIN!!!!! Anyway… the last spot in Jumanji: TDI Edition will go to either Ezekiel or Noah, so vote! I've been getting comments about campers getting voted off for no reason, so there is a reason now! Enjoy!**

_Last time on Total Drama Return… A Fear Factor- themed challenge pushed our campers to the limit! Eva stabbed herself in the eyes, Owen's iron gut finally paid off, and Ezekiel killed a moose to win for the Bass, leaving Izzy to leave, no one knows why… anyway, who will win, who will lose, and who will DIE? Find out on Total… Drama… Return!_

"Shhhh… they're sleeping." Chris whispered, an evil look on his face. "THIS IS YOUR 2:00 AM WAKE UP CALL!" he screamed into the megaphone. "REPORT TO THE ARTS AND CRAP—I MEAN CRAFTS CENTER NOW!"

When all twenty-four campers were assembled in the cramped tent, Chris explained, "Most of you were in the first season during the cooking challenge, so let's go again! I will give each team a theme. Gophers make a Hawaiian meal, and Bass get Italian dishes. Let's move, move, move!"

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**Confession Cam- Has no idea what to say right now.**

Owen- "Finally, breakfast!"

Ezekiel- "One of my parents' classes was cooking, and I got an A+, eh!

Heather- "If they lock me in the freezer again I will [bleep] their [bleep]-ing [bleep]s!"



"What should we do? I can't think of anything!" Lindsay complained.

"There's a shock." Gwen muttered. "Wait, we could make rings of pineapple with poi!" The others quickly agreed, and in mere minutes, they were done.

"I wonder what the Bass are making, I'll go find out." Owen said. While he was gone, Gwen said, "We need a topping and a beverage." Almost instantaneously, everyone looked at Mr. Coconut.

Owen didn't return until Chris started judging. "First up are the Bass. Let's see what you've made." Geoff, Duncan, and Ezekiel presented their food.

"As an appetizer, bruschetta with tomato and basil."

"Your entrée is a simple margarita pizza."

"Your dessert is a pomegranate parfait."

After five minutes, Chris finished, and the Bass got 25 out of 30. "Your turn, Gophers, you need 26 to win.

"Your meal will be pineapple rings and poi with shredded coconut and coconut milk." Gwen said, feeling proud.

"Where'd you get the coconut?" Owen asked. He had a sudden realization. "MR. COCONUT!" he screamed, running out.

"Gophers get _24_ out of 30, which means the Bass win!" Chris exclaimed. "Don't worry Gophers, since you killed Mr. Coconut, no one gets voted off." Everyone felt better about that afterward. "So there you have it. Who will win next time on Total… Drama… Return!"

**Sorry it's so short, but I'm writing this at midnight! Ok, see ya!**


	6. AN

Okay, there will be another chapter for TDR. THIS IS NOT DISCONTINUED!!! I just don't want to lose my audience, so tell everyone. OK, bye! New chapter coming either August 16, 17, or 18.


	7. Day 4 Wawanakwa War I

**Sorry, but I forgot about TDR for a month, then I forgot my password, then I had to think of an idea, then I wrote it, but the computer that I wrote it on couldn't go on the internet, then I forgot what I wrote, then I had to retype it on my laptop, so SORRY!!! On with the story!**

_Last time on Total Drama Return… a cooking challenge brought out the worst in our campers. The Gophers got served, even after they sacrificed Mr. Coconut as a drink and topping! Who will win this time? Tune in right now to Total… Drama… Return!_

"Hello, campers," Chris began, "your challenge today is an all- out paintball war! Follow Chef and I to your war grounds." Everyone reluctantly followed, only to find a one-floor building about half the size of the mess hall.

"Uh, Chris? This is smaller than my closet at home." Noah said, ever so cynically.

"Who else thinks that this crappy building is too small?" Chris asked. Everyone proceeded to raise their hands. "What do you think about that, Master Chief Hatchet?"

"Well…" Chef began sweetly. "SUCK ON THIS!" He then knocked apart two potted trees, and revealed an elevator. "DO YOU HAVE CONCRETE UP YOUR BUTTS?! MOVE!" Everyone piled into the elevator, and found the building had 100 floors underground!

"The only rules are you cannot use anything besides paintballs to attack your opponents. Other than that, have fun, and bring up the ratings!"

**-Gophers-**

"Okay, everyone. We need to distribute evenly, so spread out!" Heather dictated. No one wanted to listen to her. On the other hand, they didn't have any better plans.

**-Bass-**

"LET'S MASSACRE ONE FLOOR AT A TIME! START WITH FLOOR B-21!" Eva yelled, rage consuming her mind, as her competitiveness got the best of her, No one dared to defy her, so they all piled into the elevator towards Trent's floor.

As soon as the Bass got to B-21, Duncan fired a paintball at Trent's back, but it bounced off of his guitar, and hit Duncan right between the eyes. He called the Gophers to B-21, and started using his guitar to reflect paintballs. Unfortunately, his aim sucked, and he only hit every Gopher except for Heather and himself. He launched three more paintballs. The first bounced into the elevator, pressed the 1 button, and went up to where Chris and Chef were standing, and got right in Chris's hair. "Ah, crap!" Chris yelled. The second one followed the same path and knocked Chef's general hat off. The third bounced off every wall and ended up in Trent's groin. With the entire Bass team (minus Duncan) versus Heather alone, Heather was down in a second. Chris went down with the campers and said, "The Bass win! Who was the worst on the winning team?" Everyone pointed at Duncan. "You are now on the Gophers! Who did best on the losing team?" Everyone stared at Heather. "You are now a Bass! Team name switch time! I proclaim the Bass now… the Berserk Bears!" Somehow, triumphant music played without any music player. "As for the Gophers, you are now… The Rampaging Raccoons!" Again, triumphant music

played. "Well, Raccoons, I'll see you at the bonfire tonight."

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

**Confession Cam- Hoping it doesn't get voted off.**

Justin- "I know I'm safe. Everyone hates Trent for hitting only his team!"

Duncan- "I've got invincibility, so I'm safe. I vote Trent, since it's his fault I'm on a different team than Courtney's."

Gwen- "I'm sorry, Trent."

Big Bertha- snorts, and holds a picture of Trent in her mouth

JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

"On this plate, I have ten marshmallows. If you do not receive one, you must go on the Boat of Losers, and go home. Do not pass "Go", do not receive marshmallow, do not collect 10,000,000 dollars. Noah, Justin, Beth, Big Bertha, Cody, Owen, Duncan, Lindsay." He tossed marshmallows to the eight names he had just called. "The final marshmallow of the evening goes to…

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"Leshawna. Trent, it's time to go."

"I can't say I'm surprised, I was just dragging the Goph- I mean Raccoons down. Bye, everyone!" Trent said, surprisingly calm.

"Everyone else, you have another day to compete. Good night."

**Me: Well, that was two month's progress brought out? That was crappy.**

**Lindsay: OMG, there's a button at the bottom that says "review"! What does that do?**

**Me: You can say how much you like TDR!**

**Lindsay: So I can say that I like Bone On Loan's story!**

**Me: Yes Lindsay… review everyone, and read Cookie Kid's stories please!**


	8. Day 4 Insert Crappy School Pun Here

_Last time on Total… Drama… Return! A paintball war of the century started drama between our teams. Trent failed… badly. Duncan and Heather switched teams, and with Trent out of the way and Duncan and Courtney separated, how does Gwen feel? School is in session on a new Total… Drama… Return!_

A quiet breakfast at Camp Wawanakwa. Owen was eating, Duncan was carving into the tables, and Justin was flexing. All was well. Gwen glimpsed- well, stared- at Duncan. He caught her, and said as she blushed, "What are you looking at, Midnight Blue?" She loved that nickname. Chris walked in, dressed in a dress shirt and tie. "Everyone follow me!"

**Confession Cam- God, this story sucks. A year-long hiatus?**

Heather- Man, I can't believe it took Chris a year to come up with a challenge!

Gwen- I don't like Duncan! Well…

Duncan- Hey, what can I say? I'm likeable.

"Welcome to the Chris McLean Academy for the Mentally/Emotionally Challenged, or the CMLAM/EC. Math class is in session! I will put a series of equations on the board. First person to get the first problem wins the challenge!"

"What's the point of the rest of the problems?" Noah inquired.

"Well, we will keep going until there are two people who didn't answer. Those people will be expelled- from the island! High stakes- they raise ratings." Chris winked to the camera.

"First question- [(3x^2-27)divided by 4)] times[ 8x^2) divided by(9-3x)]divided by [(x^2+3x) divided by 6]." First to answer was Noah.

"-12x!"

"Correct! The Raccoons get invincibility! Who will get the next question? (x/a)^2+(y/b)^2+(z/c)^2 = 1." Bridgette piped up, "= 4pabc/3!"

**Confession Cam-Pi=****3.**

**Noah- Yes!**

**Bridgette- Yes!**

**-15 minutes later-**

"**All right, bottom 3! Joe… Big Bertha… and Duncan! The final equation is… ****x+(3+78*x)+(.345+45*x)+(x+321)=89*x**

**!" Immediately Duncan yelled, "**x = -21623/2400!"

"YES! Duncan, you are safe. Goodbye, Joe and Big Bertha! And hello…" A Spanish male and a purple-haired female walked in. "Alejandro and Sierra!"

"Hi, everybody!" Sierra gasped. "CODY!" She ran over and gave Cody a bear hug.

"Hola, fellow competidores."

"Okay, Alejandro to the Bears, Sierra to the Raccoons." Chris said. "Time for lunch!"

-15 minutes later-

"Today's lunch is bacon- and lots of it!" Chef yelled. Everyone loved the fresh, greasy bacon, especially Beth. She even ate more than Owen! After the bacon was gone, Chef said, "Second course- rotten fruits and vegetables, pizza, and maple syrup!"

"Why is there a second course?" Beth asked. "The bacon was so good!"

"It's time for your next challenge! FOOD FIGHT!" Chef ran to safety in his trailer.

-1 hour later-

"Alright, let's see who got hit most!" Chris said. After checking every camper, Chris said, "It looks like the prime target was… Ezekiel! So the Bears lose, which means…" Suddenly a huge pile of food on the floor farted. "Wait a minute…" Chris wiped some of the food away, and there Owen lay, sleeping. "Well, the Raccoons lose! We need a tiebreaker! The greatest pain of school is… GYM CLASS! MOVE!"

When they got there, Chris said, "Time to bring out a favorite from Season 1... DODGEBALL!"

"Great." Noah cynically replied. The Bears and Raccoons formed two lines. Chef blew a whistle, and it was a mad dash to the balls. After 3 hours of balls and dodging, there were two competitors left- Alejandro and Sierra. Alejandro took off his shirt to distract Sierra as he threw a dodge ball. Sierra ducked, and the ball nailed Cody in the kiwis. Sierra glared at the Latin arch villain and chucked a ball, slamming into Alejandro's face.

"The Raccoons win, but everyone is invited to the ceremony tonight."

**Confession Cam- Currently trying to get rid of the scent of sweat… and vegetables.**

Joe- This sucks. I almost wish I paid attention in math class now… almost.

Heather- Alejandro lost the tiebreaker. Goodbye!

D.J.- Sorry, Alejandro.

Bunny- (puts nose to a picture of Alejandro)

"Okay, let's make this quick. Heather, Eva, Sadie, Tyler, Courtney, Harold, Bridgette, D.J., Duncan, Geoff. The last marshmallow goes to…"

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"Ezekiel. However, this was a reward challenge! We still have to say good bye to Joe."

"Wait! What about Big Bertha?" Beth exclaimed.

"Well…"

"You didn't!"

"Yep. How did Bertha taste?" Beth broke into tears as Joe stepped onto the Boat of Losers.

"Well, that's it for today, but come back next time for more Total… Drama… Return!"

**That… sucked for a year-long hiatus. Next chapter up on September 5th****. Bye! 0_o**


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